There are a lot of intriguing comments to say nonetheless, especially since I agreed with everything you said. While I originally wanted to commend you on such a heart-felt story, especially one that I connected on so many different levels with, I am distracted by some of the comments that I feel need to be addressed; and will proceed to do so, but later on.
Until then, wonderfully done, I couldn’t agree more. And, that’s coming from a person, such as myself, who also experienced these things and realized them, but only after the fact when maybe having this knowledge prior may have saved me from my own experienced difficulties with love and being with the wrong person.
I truly felt like I was in your same mindset but less aware of it, at the time. I was married for over 5 years to the wrong person and for the latter part of the 3, experienced more times than I can remember, many of those exact situations and circumstances, if not all, that you have mentioned.
e.g. Finding any reason not to go home — guilty!
Even as I read your words aloud in my mind, I couldn’t help but chuckle at how exactly right I felt you could describe them and even found myself nodding in agreement.
Admittedly however, I can’t argue with some of the others after reading their comments if they choose to disagree. Because, if it’s true what they say about your article, then as someone who resonates with your points, I would need to reconsider whether or not I do share in some sort of overestimated expectation of ideals rooted in romanticism. Though, if I had to agree for the sake of giving an unbiased consideration of it all, then I’d argue that the greatest challenge of discerning between romanticism and realism, would be to find the right perceived balance of rhyme, reason, and/or number of cohorts willing to side with us on our opinion.
To be easily swayed on a subject so subjective is no more dangerous than allowing ourselves to continue being with someone who isn’t right for us.
When I was a child, I would characterize myself as the hopeless romantic who was unable to attract the attention of any damsel, no matter how thoughtful, sweet, or caring I might’ve been. Even as I got older, there were experiences that would often make me question whether or not the relationships we once believed or dreamed of ever having, were perhaps only obtainable as figments of our imagination, or experienced vicariously through the fictional relationships portrayed in movies and romantic novels.
But to that, I dare say, is that life is nothing more than a collection of memories, and if what you remember life as is, whether filled with romanticism or sound logic, in the end just comprised of memories and thoughts of them, then do what more satisfies you and your own thoughts and recognize that you’re the only person who must live with your own thought and memories their entire life. So….
To every man & woman, his or her own.